I miss those days...

Appeared happy...
But deep down...
I'm really tired...


I pray for him.

STRESS!

GAH!

I'm hurt today.
Mentally hurt.

Stupid.

Sorry,

I don't have time to update my blog.

Weekends.

Finally it's the weekends.
Finally I can stay at home all day.
Finally I can have enough sleeps.
Finally I don't have to wake up early.
Finally I don't have to worry about oversleeping.
Finally I can do my homework which I hope to finish everything by today.
I want to be organise and change the habit of always being last min.
For 18 years of my life, this habit has never been kicked.
So, is it for real this time?
Or I'm just contradicting myself again?
Tsk tsk.

Ok I'm going to plan my schedule.
Ja ne~

Make this clear first. This is not another emo post.

Been very busy lately.

Busy with what?
Well... I'm supposed to be doing my work but end up staring at it and doing nothing.
Maybe some people have already noticed that I keep staring into space.
I don't know what's going on with me?
My mind can't operate properly.
Sometimes I feel that I forced myself to do things that I don't want to.
Been feeling depressed.
I feel sleepy very easily.
It get worse these few days.
I missed lessons because I overslept everytime.
I'm not coping well with my studies.
I lost all interests.
I been having low self-esteem.
I hope my friends never think that I'm neglecting them.
Friends are my life.
They are the only people who can make me laugh, make me happy, make me smile, make me feel important, make me live on...
I LOVE my friends.
Losing them equal to take my life away.
I will die.
I treasure them even more now. :)
________________________

Today went to accompany Zhen Hong to see a doctor after school, together with Sean and his friend, Dun Ping. The doctor arranged him to take some hearing tests (?) at the hospital on the following next monday. So Monday I will be accompanying him too, if nothing's crop up.
________________________


I'm trying to save my blog. So will try to update whenever I'm not busy staring in space.

I like to hide half my face because there's a hideous side of me.

Very active on Twitter.

So,

Follow me on Twitter.

Silence is golden.

BOO!

Ok I know my blog is so dead just like the way I look.
I got no time or mood to blog.
Forgive me since I scare you already.

No adult at home.

My parents are away now.
They will come back 8 days later.
Even if they are not at home, there'll also won't have much interfering with my daily routine except for the fact that I have to do the laundry myself. Awww...
But still, I hope they enjoy their 100th honeymoon! ^^ (erm... I just make up the number.)
Kind of envy that my parents can stay so loving still.
Everyday went dating and leave their children unattended. Hahaha..
Never mind, we will forgive you but just remember to buy something back to repay.
But actually, when they went overseas, we also benefit because they will give us lots of money.
So, probably I would spend it all man!
I don't have the habit of saving.
__________
Fucking exhausted.

It's how the way you look at things!

I have think it through myself! Ok I know it's just been a few hours.
Whatever! :D
I'm going to live my life happily!
No more emo post!
Haha! Look like I have split personalities.
Never mind. Whatever. Haha! I don't care! bleah! :P

I want a haircut! Who can join me tomorrow?
Oh! I want to apologize for keep writing emo posts.
I'm sorry~! *touch my heart*
hehe...
Don't worry. I'm not going crazy.
Or am I?!
Never mind. Whatever.
I bring happiness!
Hahahhahaha...

Yay I'm having a feast tonight!
Woohoo!
Erm... Maybe I'm being overly excited.
Never mind! Whatever!
Hahahahahahahahha...

Life goes on...

Why am I feeling so empty and tired?
Why am I feeling so lost?
Why am I so helpless?
Why am I behaving like this?
Why don't I understand myself?
What do I really want?
What am I expecting?
Why am I so afraid of things?
Why am I so afraid to face the problem?
Why am I trying to escape?
What is wrong with me?
Why am I being so selfish?
How many people have I hurt?
Angel or demon?
What am I to people?
Just laugh out loud as I should?
What is wrong?!
When will I ever learn?

Humiliation. Jealousy. Anger. Loneliness. Indecision. Pessimism.
How things are so complicated now.
So vulnerable.
Why some living happily while others were suffering?
What is happy?

Haunting bad memories.
Why can't I be optimistic?
Why can't I stay positive?
Why think so much?
Just continue life like it should be until death comes upon.

How beautiful is the world?
Don't you see?
There's nothing here in this world.
Time will take me away.

My head is spinning.
More like fever but it's not.
I feel like fainting.
The weather is killing me.
I hope it rains.
Everything looks so bad now.
No turning back?

Jealousy is torturing me.
Why some are so capable?
Why can't I be like them?
What is my ability?
Ugh!
I can't stop feeling jealous.
That's just stupid...

Now, I really need to do my homework because my life still goes on.

Ciao.

Afraid to be alone.

School just started yesterday and I'm feeling stress already.

Something happened today.
I cried in the bus alone.
I feel so useless.
Why can't I have the courage to stop that from happening?
I'm sorry.

I HOPE YOU DIE IN A TERRIBLE DEATH SOON.

Today is not my day.
Haiz...

And tomorrow...
I have to wake at 0530 for school.
Oh that's just great.

I think I need to make some changes.

I'm shutting myself again.

Desires.

A coin pearl necklace.
A vintage coin necklace.
A cute short black dress.
A black one shoulder dress.
A cute white dress.
A sterling silver charm bracelet.
A platform wedge shoes.
A black high heels.
A diamond stud.
A black leather bag.
A black blazer jacket.


So many wants...
So much money...
How do I get them?

Weather's blazing hot today.

Busy Morning.

Smile?

It's my birthday today!
Finally, I'm 18.
Happy 18th Birthday to ME!
Hopefully this would be the best birthday ever.
I'm having three celebrations on three consecutive days.
Now I'm going to make my wishes.
I have 3 wishes to make.
First, I wish my family will live in harmony and happily ever after.
Will learn to curb my temper.
Second, I wish all my family and friends can stay happy and healthy always.
Weishan please take care of yourself. Hope you get well soon.
Third, ....I will keep to myself.
---------------

Love you people who wished me!
A Big Thank You To You Guys!
ARIGATOU GOZAIMASU.

LOVE YOU AND GOD BLESS.
:)

I'm damn exhausted.

Just got home...

Walked for hours...
Legs hurt...
Spent lots of money...
Stomach grumbling...
Blurred vision...
Tired eyes...
Damn exhausted...
Turning in soon...
Happy birthday to me tomorrow...
Bye.

Short hair?! Serious?!

Erm... What do you think?
Not very nice huh?
----------------

It's pouring heavily outside with loud roll of thunder.
I can feel the house vibrating.
The thunders do sound like my stomach rumbling.

Just too bored...

Things are getting really ironic.



Taken 2 years ago.

I love HONEY! I cannot live without honey.
I just ate without mixing with water.
Haha.. I feel like a bear.
Seriously I'm going to get diabetes soon if I continue to consume alot of honey every single day.

And...

I hate banana milk!
Mama stop buying! I hate it! I hate it!
-----------------------------------

Nowadays I crave for extra sweetness and spiciness.
I don't know why!
Like yesterday I just eat chilli without mixing with anything.
And is the extra spicy one.
I still continue eating even though I'm tearing already.
And I'm loving it.
I don't usually take spicy. My friends know that.
Can anyone explain this unusual phenomenon?
And I find alot of food went tasteless.
My taste bud went seriously wrong.
Help me...

One more thing...
I have thoughts of vomiting everything I had consumed.
Few days ago, I was hesitating in the toilet whether to try to vomit out everything because I think I ate too much while actually I only had a meal.
I shouted at my mother whenever she bought food back.
I always cannot resist the temptation but these few days I realised I lost my usual huge appetite.

I workout until fatigue every night.
Yes. I'm on a diet, however, the weight forever don't seems to lose.
Why?
I'm desperate.

There wouldn't be a birthday if I weren't born.
So I rather not be born.

I have vanished!

OMG! I have vanished!

I don't want to leave yet!
NOOOOOO!
.
.
.
.
no...

Don't miss me...
____________

Actually who will really miss me if I'm really gone.
Peace:)

こんにちは~

Kim Jaejoong

Hero

영웅재중

英雄在中

The most handsome, prettiest, cutest, beautiful, prefect-looking guy I ever seen.

Killing time...

YOYOYO! What's up man! YO!

I'm Stepping On The Moon!

When you look me in the eyes, tell me that you love me.

One ugly bride...
Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me~

Ya..Just Forget Me.

Ahhh! Kua tio gui!
(dialect)

That's how you KILL time.